It amazes us that some (not all) potential dog adopters have this misguided expectation that, immediately upon adoption, their new furry family member will enter their home and “get into their groove” within days if not hours. That mindset could not be further from truth. In fact, even the 30-30-30 rule (also referred to as 3-3-3…a guideline for the typical adjustment period for a new rescue), is not necessarily realistic. It suggests that a dog needs 3 days to adjust to their new environment, 3 weeks to begin feeling comfortable and learning the new routine, and 3 months to feel secure, trust their new family, and truly be themselves. In my opinion, this is one reason why there are so many failed dog adoptions. Adopters expect “X” and instead experience “Y”, so they become frustrated fairly quickly and, sadly, give up on the poor dog who is trying his/her best to adjust to their new humans, furry playmates and unfamiliar surroundings.
What some adopters fail to realize is that many of the dogs in shelters have suffered trauma of some type…from abuse to neglect to untreated health conditions to having their world turned upside down as a result of their previous human(s) having dumped them at the shelter or, even worse, having abandoned them “somewhere” where they’ve had to fend for themselves in a very scary world. Now some might say that’s a good reason not to adopt shelter dogs. To that I would say, that is the EXACT reason to adopt shelter dogs. I recently ran across this quote and it’s actually quite perfect:
The animal shelter isn’t full of ‘broken’ animals.
It’s full of survivors. Fighters.
Souls still willing to love even after being let down by humans.
If you want loyalty, forgiveness, and love in its purest form – adopt!
So what are realistic expectations when adopting a shelter dog? The answer is, “expect the unexpected and roll with it”. The most effective dog adopters exude an abundance of patience and are highly skilled in observing, assessing, understanding, researching, experimenting and adjusting. After all, tackling dog behaviors is never a “one size fits all” proposition. What works for one dog may not work for another so the adopters take it one step at a time — not pushing the dog too hard too fast – but rather allowing the dog to set their own pace. They’re also comfortable embracing a dog as they are, depending on the nature of the behavioral challenges, vs. forcing the dog into a particular mold. Of course there are exceptions, which I’m not talking about here – one big exception being an adult dog that bites or appears like it could bite at any second (aggression). That’s an entirely different topic and must be addressed asap because it’s dangerous for all involved. What I am talking about are behaviors that can be “smoothed out” over time such as:
- Responding to basic commands
- Destructiveness (soiling in the house, chewing furniture)
- Excessive barking
- Hyperactivity or disobedience
- Incompatibility with other pets or family members
Regrettably, given the nature of humans in general, most wanting quick “silver bullet” fixes and immediate results to solve pretty much every challenge they face in life (by the way, I’m not one of them), it leads to adopters returning newly adopted dogs to the shelters without really investing the time, energy and patience into discovering solutions that successfully modify their furry friend’s “less than desired” behaviors.
How does one gather potential solution intel? Sounds rather spy-like, right? There are a myriad of avenues available so you may discuss your dog’s behaviors and explore options:
- Contact your Veterinarian
- Reach out to your Dog Shelter Manager/Team
- Join free online Dog Forums and engage with Subject Matter Experts
- Enlist the support of highly trusted dog behavioralists or trainers
- Google search for credible articles
Before even reaching out to any of the above resources, adopters must recalibrate their expectations. Stop thinking “I’ll do this but I better see big changes ASAP or else back to the shelter you go” to “I will do whatever it takes, including being inquisitive, open minded, supportive, understanding and patient with my newly adopted dog, so we may land on a solution that will benefit both our dog and our family.”
At PupKeepers, we’ve experienced some challenging dog behaviors that we’ve had to navigate. Here are just a few (of many) examples:
- Shakira, an Akita mix, would never get along with other dogs. While she wasn’t attack-like towards them, she made it very clear that she would not cohabitate with them. We set Shakira up in an area, within our home, where she had free roam away from the other pups. Safe for her. Safe for them. Of course before we even adopted Shakira, who had been added to a Euthanasia List which is why we quickly arranged for her transport across state lines, we were very familiar with the breed and the potential that she might prefer humans to dogs. We were prepared for that eventuality. While we took extra steps to accommodate Shakira’s personality, the love we received from her in return was both immense and intense. She became my “shadow baby” and followed me everywhere. I could not have imagined such an amazingly faithful dog as our gal, Shakira.
- Louie, a Great Dane/Boxer mix, was abused and neglected prior to being rescued by the shelter and us adopting him. It literally took a full year for Louie to trust us to where I could hug him, rub him and kiss him on his big ‘old square forehead. He “tolerated” us at first, but was always unsure of our intentions. We could clearly see the skepticism in his eyes. He remained on guard, ready to react, if we moved too quickly around him or toward him. Slowly and steadily he gave us more leeway as we interacted with him. Fast forward to today and I would describe Louie as an absolutely delightful, strong and stocky 60-pound love bug with a good-natured personality, a beautiful frosty face and captivating soulful eyes!
- Bungie, a Cattle Dog mix, was kept in isolation in a shed at an Amish puppy mill. He was petrified of all noises which created all sorts of issues as we were attempting to housebreak him by taking him outside to eliminate at least 100 times per day, or so it seemed. He’d hear a noise and would immediately retreat back to our home, losing any focus related to taking care of business. There was no convincing him otherwise. Housebreaking him became a real challenge. He was the most skittish dog that we’ve ever adopted. If patience truly is a virtue, Paul and I should definitely earn an award! Bungee finally outgrew his fear of noise, and ultimately learned to consistently eliminate outdoors, after we diligently worked with him for TWO YEARS.
- Trapper, a Boxer mix, was kept isolated in a basement or garage for his entire adult life until he was rescued and adopted by us. He was unfamiliar with the inside of a home, dog toys and dog playmates. We worked with him for 3 months until he was comfortable enough (he stopped growling) so that we could begin introducing him to our other pups and start the assimilation process. Trapper eventually became quite the lady’s man and fell head over heels in love with Nikita, our Shiba Inu mix. Watching those two flirt with each other was pure joy! Trapper became Paul’s “shadow baby” and would have followed him to the ends of the earth – they were that close.
In each of the above 4 cases, instead of creating unrealistic expectations, we embraced a “meet them where they’re at” mindset as we tried different, and sometimes truly creative ways, to successfully modify their behaviors to where they and we both arrived at our “happy place”. I would be disingenuous, however, if I didn’t readily admit that, at times, it can be a bit frustrating when trying to work through behavioral challenges. But look beyond the moment and into the future. Investing our hearts, time and energy into helping these incredible souls, who have endured the worst of the worst, yet who are willing to entrust their love to us – isn’t a bit of frustration here and there a small price to pay so these resilient survivors may find peace within their short lifespans?